I'm not just a writer/pet columnist/animal advocate; my love of animals goes much deeper than that: I also clean cat boxes and walk dogs for a living. In other words, I'm a professional pet sitter. Think of me as a cross between Cesar Milan (the Dog Whisperer) and The Nanny à la Fran Drescher.
Lest you think that pet sitting is, well, an excuse to sit around, I assure you that there’s a lot more to it than simply playing with pets. A typical week goes something like this:
Day 1: Entered my client’s house and immediately stepped on a squishy blob of something wet and hairy. Uh oh, another hairball. Proceeded to the bathroom. P-U, what’s that smell? Better clean the litter boxes pronto. Trudged back to the living room. Three bright and eager faces greet me with melancholic meows as if to say, “Forget the cat boxes, where is breakfast already?”
Day 2: Entered the house and immediately stepped on a squishy blob of something wet and hairy. Note to self: Remember to turn on the light before walking inside. Cleaned the litter boxes in record time. Served breakfast and then proceeded to comb the cats while sitting in the sun. Collected a fistful of fur and turned it into a collage reminiscent of my childhood art classes. Contemplated the fact that I might have too much time on my hands. Brought in the newspaper and mail and wrestled the trash barrel to the curb.
Day 3: Entered the house; no squishy blob in sight. All that combing seemed to lick the hairball problem. Peeked into the den. What’s that on the floor? Oh no, someone’s dinner didn’t agree with her. Went in search of a mop. Couldn’t find it. Ended up using a roll of paper towels to clean up the half-digested food. Whew, no stain on the new hardwood floors. Wondered to myself how animals manage to look picture-perfect first thing in the morning. Went home and spent the rest of the morning slathering on makeup and styling my hair.
Day 4: Entered the house wearing socks. Big mistake. Slid across the polished hardwood floors and landed on my can. I can see the headlines now: “Pet nanny lands on her fanny; story at 11:00.” Gingerly checked for any broken bones and slowly got to my feet. Cleaned the litter boxes and gave everyone breakfast. Checked the floor for any more “surprises.” Finding none, I limped outside to retrieve the trash barrel and put out the recycling barrel. Did a little jig when the sprinklers unexpectedly sprang to life as I was retrieving the newspaper.
Day 5: The pet parents are coming home today. Wrote out a report card detailing the activities of the week (leaving out my embarrassing faux pas). Watered all the indoor plants, brought in the mail, recycling barrel and newspaper (blessedly, the sprinklers stayed silent), and gave the kitties extra treats and hugs before heading out the door.
I have a little break now before my next assignment begins on July 4th. For two weeks, I’ll be sitting for two yellow labs in a humongous house in the hills. The views go on forever, the dogs are sweet and well-behaved and there will be plenty of time during the day to soak up the sun and work on my writing. It’s a “ruff” job, but somebody’s got to do it.
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Diary of a Pet Sitter
